Family scam-safety plan
Ten minutes of planning together can stop a scam later. This works whether you are the older adult, or the son, daughter, grandchild or friend helping.
1. Pick a family safe word
The FBI (IC3 alert I-120324-PSA, Dec 3, 2024) recommends creating a secret word or phrase with your family to verify identity. AARP also suggests a safe word shared only with family or your inner circle: if a caller claims to be a grandchild and does not know it, it is a scam.
Our suggestions (not from an agency):
- Pick something only your family would know, that is not on social media or easy to guess.
- Do not text it or post it. Say it in person or on a call you started.
- Agree that a real family member in a real emergency can still say it. If the caller cannot, hang up and call them back on their number.
- Change it if you think it leaked.
2. Agree on five simple rules
- No gift cards, crypto, wire transfers, payment-app sends or cash to a stranger or "emergency". Real businesses and government agencies do not ask this way (FTC).
- Hang up and call back on a number you already have. Never use the number in a pop-up, text or from the caller (FTC).
- Never move money to "protect" it. (FTC)
- No secrets. Anyone who says "don't tell anyone" is a scammer. The FTC says scammers do not want you talking to anyone else.
- Pause and call a trusted person first. No decision is ever needed in the next ten minutes.
3. How to bring it up kindly
The FTC suggests telling an older relative things like:
- "I'll never call and ask you to send money for an emergency. That's a scam. Hang up!"
- "If someone pressures you to secretly send money to get me (or someone you know) out of trouble, that's a scam. Slow down and check it out."
Avoid blame. AARP's 2026 survey says shame is the main reason people do not report scams. Make it easy to say, "I almost fell for something."
4. Keep key numbers where you can find them
Open the printable wallet card with the national hotlines and blanks for your family's numbers.
5. A few more steps
- Limit what scammers can copy: the FBI suggests limiting online content of your image or voice and making social media accounts private to people you know.
- Ask your bank what it offers (alerts, trusted contact). We have not verified any specific bank's features.
- If you suspect someone close to an older adult is taking their money, Adult Protective Services handles exploitation. Call the Eldercare Locator, 1-800-677-1116 (call 911 if someone is in danger).
Sources
Last verified: October 17, 2026. We link to the original public pages. Hotline hours and agency advice can change; check the linked page.
- Criminals Use Generative Artificial Intelligence to Facilitate Financial Fraud (I-120324-PSA) (FBI IC3; Dec 3, 2024)
- Find Out How to Protect Yourself Against AI Scams (AARP; undated page (read Oct 17, 2026))
- Have I told you lately that I love you, and how to avoid scams? (FTC Consumer Alert; Feb 13, 2023)
- False alarm, real scam: how scammers are stealing older adults' life savings (FTC Data Spotlight; Aug 2025)
- Scammers use AI to enhance their family emergency schemes (FTC Consumer Alert; Mar 20, 2023)
- What If I Suspect Abuse, Neglect, or Exploitation? (ACL (HHS); undated page)
- Elder Abuse Reporting Resource: Financial (U.S. DOJ Elder Justice Initiative; Nov 2020 edition)
- Romance Scams Put Millions of Adults 50-plus at Risk (AARP press release; Feb 3, 2026)